13 Months

So, I have to admit something. Corey and I both missed Brigz's 13 month birthday. We are horrible parents. This past month has been the craziest month since before the baby came. I forgot how crazy summers usually are. Last summer, we had just had Brigz and we were home a lot. Today is the first day that I have been able to semi-relax at home and not have to stress about up coming trips or events. We have been out of town for 3 of the four weekends in August. We have been living out of bags. I can't complain though because soon enough it is going to be freezing and I will probably be snowed in and begging the weather to let me leave.

I also have bronchitis right now. I haven't ever had it before. I know it effects everyone differently. I went to the hospital because I couldn't catch my breath. I felt like I was having really bad asthma. No other symptoms at all. Weird. I am on an antibiotic, so hopefully I will be able to breathe normal again soon. I really feel for people with asthma. My mom is a sever asthmatic and never has full air flow through her bronchioles. That would stink because it is really scary to not be able to breathe.

I also had a bizarre thing happen. I had a "false positive" pregnancy test. They aren't supposed to happen, but sure enough, I guess they do. I spent a day thinking I was pregnant. At first, I almost had a heart attack, but by the end of the day, I was super excited and planning how to surprise Corey. I took extra tests over a few days time to make sure I was and they all came back negative. I called my doctor and they said to wait and take more, which I did. All negative. I didn't realize how depressing it would be. I have been having a hard time with it and am very emotional. It is best for timing that I am not right now, but it still makes me sad. I'll get over it though.

Yes, our little man is over a year old. Holy cow. In the past month, he has morphed into a completely different child. He is so easy now! (knock on wood) He is silly, so sweet, and so funny! Corey and I just laugh at him when us three are together because he is always into something or doing something funny. Here are the stats on Brigz:

• He is still below the 19 lb mark and thanks to getting sick again this month, won't be for a while now.
• He is in 12 month clothes.
• He wants to be outside. all. the. time. He says "ow-shy" when he wants to go out. which is constantly. He points at the windows and doors and cries to go outside. I love being outside, so I don't mind.
• He is 100% content if he is in his stroller no matter where we are.
• He is a little piggy now. I have realized that it is all a texture thing for him. He likes to bite things that are crunchy (tomatoes, finger foods, crackers), and eat things off a spoon that are cold and sweet (yogurt, apple sauce).
• He wants to feed himself with a spoon or fork. He does a pretty good job!
• He has figured out the difference in a milk and a water sippy cup. When he asks for his "baba" I give him water first, and he will keep saying "baba" until I give him his milk cup. Since he was sick, he has started going even further and says "baba" until he gets his binky. I try to only give it at naps and bedtime still, but man, he can be very persistant!
• He points at everything. If it is food, he will point at it and then put it in his mouth and say "mmm". Sometimes he does this to things that are not food... not good.
• He still has a minor fear of large animals that get too close to him.
• Sometimes when he walks, he throws his arms behind him and does a funny face. He looks like superman.
• He has a super thick head of blond hair. Corey says we can't cut it because it would take two pounds off of him. He has the most amazing bed head I have ever seen!
• He takes two 1-2 hour naps a day which are wonderful. He goes to bed at night around 8 and wakes up at 6:30. I pull him into bed with me and then he sleeps til 9. I hope he doesn't grow out of this any time soon! I love waking up to his smiley face!
• He makes the sound of lots of animals now. His favorites are ducks. He says "Duck, Quack, Quack". He always barks and moos, well he says "booo boo".
• He shows us his teeth with a big cheesy grin
• He is very ticklish
• He hides all over teh house. I find him by asking "where is Brigz?" and I follow the giggles. He is usually slouched down pretending I can't see him
• He gives really good hi fives and says "yeah" afterwords.
• He LOVES books. He brings them to you and then sits in your lap to read them. We have yet to make it through a whole book, but he likes turning the pages.
• He says "go", "there", "that" and "wowww" constantly.
• He loves chocolate.
• He hates to be by himself, although he has been getting a lot better. He plays by himself now which makes it easier to get some things done.
• He still loves to bite.
• He has started testing his disipline lately. He knows when he is doing something bad and looks at you while he does it. He has gotten a few little butt swats.
• He is the best thing ever. I am so lucky to get to spend my days with him. He is sooo loveable and gives kisses and hugs constantly. He wants to cuddle all the time.

I am so lucky that Corey works hard so I can stay home with him every day but Wednesday. God has blessed our family so much and I am so grateful for his love.

To Granny's House We Go

We just got back from a trip to South Texas. Brookshire/ Wallace area to be exact. I have to say it is the most prime example of a bittersweet trip I have ever had. We went down for my Granny's 90th birthday celebration.  It was bittersweet because she has alzheimers and doesn't really know us as who we are now. My dad considers her house "the last peice of his childhood" left and I love going there. It was great because I was able to visit with so much family that I don't usually get to.

My dad calls her house home. He spent summers in the area between my Granny's house and my Grandma Bear's house. They are about a half an hour apart. My Granny owns acres of farmland that my Grandfather ran cattle and grew watermelons on. He has unfortunately been gone for 16 years, but my dad talks about him like he is still here. I wish I could meet him one more time to see all the features about him that my dad remembers. He always talks about his big ol' hands and his smile. He was so kind to my dad and taught him so many things about hard work and integrity. My Grandma Bear is on the other side of the family and she passed away in 2009. Her little home in Wallace was sold last year and it killed my dad. Now my Granny's house is the only place that he has that he has memories of from when he was a child.

When my dad is in south Texas, he is more himself more than any other time or place. We, unfortunately, have never spent a ton of time there. It is a long distance to drive, and flights were too expensive when we were young.  The memories I have from South Texas are so strong. I can close my eyes at any point and smell my Granny's house. I know exactly how it looks and is laid out. I can picture all the faces of the family. I can here the funny little songs my Granny sang to us. I feel the hugs of my Aunt Randy. It is a place that also feels like my home as well. However, we have family members that I know little about. I have heard the stories from my dad, but have little stories of my own.

My Granny is a tough, proud, sweet and sincere Texas Woman. She has done things herself and is a very hard working lady. She also knows how to have fun. There are so many stories of her saying and doing funny things. She has been known to take her clothes off and fly down a slip n' slide at almost fifty. She is your finest dominoes player. She can shoot a gun better than any man. Now, at age 90, her memory is sharper than a tack from about 15 years ago and before.She had a hard time recognizing my dad because his hair is darker than she remembers and he has facial hair.  She has no idea who I am. She remembers who "Abbey" is, but I'm pretty sure that it is the five year old me. The me that she went camping with and sung songs to. She saw me and thought I was just a really tall girl that was growing too fast and "needed a brick put on my head".  She definately didn't know who Corey was even though she had met him a few times and even came to our wedding. She knew Brigz must have belonged to my dad somehow since he has white hair and blue eyes and didn't stop moving.

This trip was  hard for me because of my dad. South Texas looks nothing like what is does in his memories right now. It is so brown from the draught. My Granny's house is dusty and doesn't have any cows on it. My Granny looks great, but it all just isn't the same. The roads are paved, there are new homes, it is all just different. Yet so the same. My dad was able to eat blackberry pie, homemade ice cream, brisket, sausage, gumbo... all the things that he has talked about. We were all able to hang out with family. I loved getting to visit with fellow Kocureks, how my cousin Zach looks like my dad when he was younger, and getting to hear all the stories of my dad cruising around and causing trouble in that same very place.

It was a trip I will never forget. As we left, I cried my eyes out. It was amazing getting to soak up all the family I could. It was terrible saying goodbye. I don't know what will happen in the near future. I'm not so sure I want to know. I hope my dad's memories can always be preserved. I hope things will remain somewhat the same. God has such huge plans for all of us. Sometimes I wonder where he comes up with these ideas, but they always work out in the end!

Someone to Share My Oreos With

There is nothing in life that I love doing more than hanging out with my boys. Now that we have this little halarious, silly creature, Corey and I are appreciating the little things more in life. One big thing that I love is....

that I have someone to share my Oreos with :) (and nutella and ice cream, which he also loves)

Somebody Had a Party...

Yesterday we had Brigz's one year party. It was soooo much fun! It felt like a whirlwind, but we survived and had a blast! We had gorgeous weather, we got our yard finished enough for the party, and we had so many friends and family! Brigz is very spoiled loved and got a rediculous amount of presents! We even had a water fight! I can't believe this year has came and went and we have ALREADY had his party :( His real birthday is the 27th and we are going to have so much fun!

ALSO... last wednesday, I decided it was time to get tough and seriously sleep train. He has been getting up every hour and a half to nurse and I was living off of coffee. Even when cut him off nursing, he kept waking up. I knew I needed to get something done before he can get out of his crip. So Wednesday night he went to sleep and woke up about 2 hours later. So I went in, laid him down, patted his back, and left the room.... and almost fell apart. I went back in and did this every 3 min, then 5 min, and then 10 min until he fell asleep.... 1 HOUR LATER! Killer. I am not cut out for hearing my baby cry. But I did it and he did it. He put himself to sleep!!! It was a miracle! And he slept til the next morning! The next night, he woke up and I offered him a sippy, he didn't want it, and I kissed him and left the room. He cried 5 min and went to sleep. The next night, he cried 3 min. And the past two nights he has..... SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!! AAAHHHHH!!! I am so excited, so well rested, and praying it continues! He is happier, I am happier, it is better for everyone! LOVE IT! 

12 month stats:

• he walks every where and is into everything
• he likes to climp up things
• he likes any toy that he can take apart and put back together, or take out and put back in
• he is still very little, weighing only about 19 lbs, but is very tall
• he loves to eat now, but only the food he likes :) loves fruit, raisins, crackers, cookies, avocados, yogurt, yogurt melts, baby cheetos, and graham crackers.
• he drinks whole milk, almond milk, and toddler formula. he looovvvees water. No babas; only sippies.
• he says go, mamma, dadda, dad, more, dog, bath (baf), quak, growls, ready... go, and more
• he loves "so big", clapping, high fives, his coyote whistle, dancing, and sticking his finger up his nose when ask where his nose is.
• he is a snuggle bug to the max

He is the greatest baby ever! We are so blessed to have him :) I can't wait to see what more he does as he grows. He amazes me every day!

Mamma

 Every time God throws big challenges at me, I have always been grateful enough to have people to help me through. I am very lucky that I have not had very many big challenges in my life. I have been very blessed with parents that always made things very easy. That is only because maybe they had hard things in their life that encouraged them to make family their number one priority.

One big challenge, was in college when my best friends and I decided to "break up". It was really, really, really hard for me. My mom had advice for me and helped me through it and how to not be angry. Then, we had the whole ordeal with our delivery of Brigz. Although going through it felt like going through the motions, the aftermath was harder to deal with emotionally. My heart goes out to everyone who has ever lost a baby. Almost losing one was the hardest thing I have ever been through. Thank goodness for an amazing hubby, also. My family helped me through that as well. And now with being a mom. I feel like every day is something new that I hope and pray that I am doing things "right" for Brigz. He is my whole world and my everything and all I want is for him to have an easy life like I did. However, there are always things and people that make you feel like maybe you aren't doing things "right". With a baby, I'm pretty sure that it's a little of shooting from the hip and hoping that that idea works for your baby.

It is one week tomorrow that I decided to quit breastfeeding Brigz. I totally underestimated the emotions that go along with it. I miss that time with him very much. I struggle with thinking maybe it was too early to cut him off. Then to top it off, he got constipated from the lack of breastmilk in his system (another reason why they say "cold turkey" is difficult with breastfeeding). I felt horrible because I made this decision so that we could maybe get more sleep, and it caused him to have a night full of pain :( You would think after 12 months, I would be okay with letting it go, but I REALLY miss that time.Of coarse, through our really crazy past week with other random, depressing things, my mom had great advice again. She told me this:

"The single, most important thing you can give your baby is simply love. The rest will fall into place from there."

So there ya go. And I know that I give our baby as much as humanly possible! I love this baby more than anything and I will be dang sure he grows up knowing how much his parents love him.

Thank you mamma for always being there and setting my head back on straight! Love you forever.

Weaning... dun dun dunnnnn

It has officially been four days since our little man had the boobie. I am dying. He hasn't even noticed. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I still have plenty of food to supply.... beleive me. But, I have noticed that if you cut things off with these babies before they realize they are attached, they don't seem to notice. I needed to nurse him for a year because of my cyst I had last year. They said it would be healthier for me to nurse for a year. Lately, he has been pulling up my shirt for me, and asking for it by saying "my mama mama".  He also has still been wanted to nurse all.night.long. lately and we have been up every 2 hours or so. So I thought it would be time. After talking to a friend on fourth of July, she gave me the idea to just go cold turkey. I didn't expect to do it just yet, but it worked out that this week just worked for it. Here is our new plan:

• When he wakes up, I don't pick him up out of the crib
• I rub his back and offer his binky (that will be going away soon as well)
• If he is having a hard time, I offer a sippy cup (bottles have been cut out as well) that are really diluted. 
• At nap time, I offer a sippy cup while rocking. 

So far, it has been a major success. Besides one night that he was constipated and woke up every houurrrr!!! But he has adjusted way better than I ever imagined. I am a bit more emotional about it all. I am really missing that time we had together.  Since he is almost a year old, my emotions are pretty high right now anyways. Plus, my boobs are going to fall off. They are not going down at all!! Everything says three days and you will start to notice you are drying up. NOPE! I am full as ever and uncomfortable! And that plays with my head making me think that it shouldn't be time to stop then :(

Frankenstein

Welp, it is official! Brigz started walking/running on July 1st! He has been holding our hand and walking for about 1.5 months now, and started taking wobbly steps between Corey and I for about a week. All of a sudden he took of the other day and continues to get and better. He thinks it is a game and cracks up and he walks everywhere now! Corey and I get so proud of him and hug him when he walks directly to us so now he expects hugs, claps, and kisses after a long haul! So cute!